The Birth Story

If you have been reading the blog or have been in contact with anyone who knows me, I am sure that you are aware that I have had the baby. Jess did a wonderful job of guest blogging for me, when the only access to the Internet that I had was a keyboard in the corner of my hospital room that plugged in somewhere I couldn't figure out.

Now with a week old little boy napping in his bouncer, I am finally getting the time to start this blog entry. No telling when I will finish it, as I hear his bird chirping right now, which usually is followed by a desire to eat.

In any case, although the facts are out there, I wanted to put out the story of James' birthday, if for nothing else than posterity and for him to read in the future.

When I last wrote, I was still desperately looking for ways to push myself closer to labor. A friend of ours told me that 2 out of the 3 of his children were born a day after his wife went to a grocery store here called Magruder's. Half as a joke, half because we had forgotten onion at the grocery store two days earlier, we went to Magruder's on Thursday. On top of that, when Glenn went out to frisbee, I pulled out the dance mat that goes with our imitation Dance Dance Revolution and did some easy dancing. Jamey and I were very good and I think I even danced better than I ever have when not pregnant! After 20 minutes, I was winded and sat down.

The next morning, I started to notice a little bit of wetness and began to think that perhaps my water sack had broken. I called the doctor and he told me to go into Fairfax Hospital and get it checked out, so off we went. Arriving at the hospital, I wasn't sure where to go, so instinctually we first went to the ER. When I told the woman my problem, she said, "And how far along are you?" I looked at her and said, "Today is my due date." Her eyes bulged and she directed me to labor and delivery. Once there, we were told that before they could do anything for us, we should go back downstairs and register!!! So back down we went, and on the way back up, I felt something that felt a little more like my water breaking, but still no knowing gush of water. Finally, in the triage, they hooked me up to the fetal monitors and determined via pH test, that I had indeed ruptured my water.

Now here is the strange thing.... at this point, I was still unsure as to whether this pressure I was feeling was contractions. I wasn't in a great amount of pain, per se. It just felt like a lot of pressure. So I turned to the nurse and shyly said, "This is a stupid question, but how can I tell if I have had any contractions?" She smiled and said, "Oh, you've had quite a number of contractions. " I said okay and continued lying there.

Once checked in, they put me on pitocin to get the contractions stronger and more regular. At that point, I was 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced. At first the pitocin wasn't bad. I calmly watched some Ellen on the tiny tv, and greeted Jess when she came in from work. But by 4 PM, the contractions were beginning to be unbearable. Frankly, more than the contractions, I was having back labor, and my back was killing me. All I wanted was for that pain to go away. Each time the nurse came in, she asked my level of pain, and each time, when it didn't seem to be enough, she raised the level of pitocin. "I'm really sorry to say this, and it will sound terrible, but I was hoping by this point, you would be in a little more pain."

This sounds sadistic for her to say, but let me say that she was an AMAZING nurse, named Kate, and she was so friendly. Seeing her work made me want to advise all my students who are going to nursing school that they should work in Labor and Delivery. Finally, I told her that I was ready for my epidural. She pulled in the cart for the anaestheseologist, and it sat there taunting me for about 5 or ten minutes before the doctor showed up. By this time, it had to have been between 5 and 5:30 because the news was on. As Kate and Glenn held my hands, the man did his thing, and I must say, it didn't really hurt. So I have put in my vote for that one--- epidurals... not too painful. And if ever I had a test of the use of my breathing and tuning things out, this was it. As they were doing their work, Dr. Berry-- my OB-- came in, and stood in the background, listening to the news. I can't remember what story was on, but whatever it was, Dr. Berry found it fascinating and began to engage the anaestesiologist in conversation about it. I sat there thinking, "UM, hello???? Remember me??" But in the end, I used all my strength to focus on the letter H on my armband and tune out their voices. It worked and suddenly, it was in. And let me tell you... everything that is said about epidurals? Oh, it's true!! Best invention EVER! Suddenly, it felt that the labor could go on forever and I could handle it. I could push that baby out for days, and that would be fine. I was laughing again, and able to hold a conversation.

Every hour Dr. Berry came in to check me, and for two hours, he found that I wasn't going anywhere. As in, I wasn't dilating further, and I wasn't becoming more effaced. He looked dismayed and told me, that my contractions were also not really getting as strong as he would have liked. The reason? The baby's head was too big. In order to dilate more, we needed for his head to come down and press on my cervix. However, my pelvis was too small, so his head wasn't coming down to the cervix. Thus, I was stuck where I was.

I could have laid there for hours and hours, and in the end come to the same conclusion. Or I could take the next half hour and have my baby. So I chose the second option, and was off for my C section. Within minutes, I was prepped and ready to go... with one problem. Dr. Berry seemed to have disappeared. I listened to the nurses slowly get more angry that he was keeping us waiting, and it wasn't for about twenty minutes that he showed up and spit some anger back at them. "You were paging the wrong doctor! You paged Dr. Beery and not Dr. Berry," he bellowed. Apparently Dr.'s Berry and Beery had been sitting in the dr's lounge, but because Dr. Beery was off duty, he/she wasn't answering pages.

With his arrival it began, to the wonderful musical stylings of what I can only guess was HOT 99.5, judging by the song selection. "Shake It", "I Kissed a Girl", and "In This Club" were all among those played. And then, at 9:16 PM, as I lay there, I felt a strong pressure and I heard, "There he is." And then I heard something that made me laugh. It came from Dr. Berry, who til this point, just figured my average sized baby had a big head.

"Whoa, that's a BIG baby!" Dr. Berry exclaimed. "That might be a 10 lb. baby." The funniest part about the statement was the honest surprise in his voice. As I turned my head to the side, I saw them carry him to the warmer, his head alien-shaped from trying so hard to get through my pelvis, and covered in blood. Glenn left my side to welcome James Morgan into the world at 9 lb. 1 oz and 22 1/4 inches long.

The next several hours are a complete blur. I remember waking up in the PACU-- surgery recovery area. I was alone in my little triage area, but I turned my head and there, facing me, was the soft face of my little boy, fast asleep. It was a special moment, and although I couldn't really move, I felt connected to him right away. Eventually, they moved me up to my room, we bonded with Jamey, and "a few" visitors snuck up to see him. My parents were there, Glenn's parents too, and Aunt Joyce. In addition, Jess was still there waiting for Jamey, as were Monica, Marla, and Chris.

The stay in the hospital wasn't that eventful. Lots of visitors, another fantastic nurse, during the day times, and a lot of bonding time with James. Dad claims he has no eyes, but it was just that for the first week, he really likes to just sleep... Oh well!

We have found that Jamey has our temper. Generally Glenn and I are happy people, but when the temper flares, watch out. We were ready to go home after a few days.

James Morgan has arrived!

This is Jess and I'm posting for the new Mommy and Daddy, while they are still at the hospital. For those of you that haven't heard, I will try to summarize the "birth story" and let Melissa give all the details when she returns. Melissa went to the hospital on Friday and found out that she had broken her water. She checked in around 1pm and was attended to by the great nurses and doctors in Fairfax hospital (I was very impressed). She progressed to 4cm in a couple hours, but did not budge after that.

The doctor thought the baby could be too big to deliver naturally and suggested a c-section. After we all waited patiently in the waiting room, we got the big news!

James Morgan Rife

July 11th, 2008 - 9:16pm

9 pounds, 1 ounce

22 1/4 inches in length

Melissa is doing great and is up and walking around. Jamey has been resting peacefully and Glenn is taking care of everyone.

I've posted a couple different photos and a video on my blog, if anyone wants to see more!

http://babylamken.blogspot.com/

~Jess

Babies, babies everywhere!

Are they all trying to taunt me? One of the doctors in my OB practice? Jamie Lynn Spears? Nicole Kidman? Matthew McConaghey? And even my high school friend Heather? All of them have alreadey had their babies. Don't get me wrong. I am extremely happy for all of them, particularly Heather, whose little girl is adorable. But everywhere I look, it seems that people are popping out babies. I am wondering if my friend Kris, who was due yesterday, has had her little boy yet. I am guessing no, as she would have sent out word if she had.

And here I am, back from another weekly visit to the doctor. Again, there has been progress, I am dilated more, and apparently, "My water sac is bulging." On a side note, don't ask how much exactly I have dilated. This is the exchange that took place with my doctor today-- my doctor who may be even more laid back than my old OB Dr. Fruiterman.

Him: "How much did she say you were dilated last week?"
Me: "One centimeter."
Him: "Yeah, you are definitely further along than that now."

But, as he said, that doesn't always mean anything. He made reference to a woman who came in, having no dilation, and then went into labor 4 hours later. As everyone says, "The baby will come when he wants to come. Nothing is really a sign."

On the note of info, that I have received today, I can tell everyone that I officially have an induction date. If he is still playing stubborn by then, I will be induced on July 17th at 7 PM, but with a slight change of plans. The induction will take place at Fairfax Hospital, and not Fair Oaks, as originally planned. Somehow I feel that Murphy's Law is going to take over on this one.

And the reason for the change? Remember that doctor I mentioned at the beginning of the blog entry who works in my practice and gave birth? Well, she delivered several weeks early, making things at the practice a little crazy. Due to that, apparently they have moved all inductions to Fairfax.

At first I was dismayed, but the fact is that Fairfax is another Inova hospital, just like Fair Oaks, and beyond that, it is a really great hospital as well. It's just a small amount further away. That's just the way life goes-- you just gotta roll with the punches.

I have, though, instructed Jamey that he better come out soon!

(On a side note, we have decided to spell his nickname Jamey and not Jamie, as Jamey denotes the name James more. Also, it is a little more unique, which is one thing we want to add to his name. )

Everyone loves a pregnant woman!

It has been my experience that most people are nice to pregnant women, but I didn't know that even children know how awesome pregnant people are! :)

Two nights ago, Glenn and I went out to our favorite Italian restaurant for our 2nd anniversary. It was a very low key affair, as we have so much going on, if you know what I mean. The hostess led us to the table, and as we sat, a little girl, turned to look at me. She was probably about 4 years old, with curly blond hair in pigtails. As we picked up our menus, I heard her say, "Mommy, that's my friend. That's my friend over there." Glenn and I looked over and she had her finger pointed out toward me. She was continuing to say something about me being her friend. Her mom and I shared a knowing grin. I wasn't sure what had brought it on, as I hadn't said anything to or even looked at the little girl on my way in. I figured maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was pregnant.

We enjoyed a great dinner. I watched the little girl out of the corner of my eye, and as the family got up to leave, I noticed something that made me smile. As her mother got up, I saw that she was probably just as pregnant as I am. That made it all come together. By our estimation, the little girl has probably been told that her friend is inside Mommy's belly. And seeing me walk in with that same size of belly, the girl figured that maybe her other friend was inside my belly.
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Well, as you notice, I did what many said I never would-- I made it to July without having delivered the baby. Not that I was trying to hold out so long, but this is what has happened. We had our weekly doctor's visit yesterday, and I have progressed a bit. At the appointment, I was 1 cm dilated and more effaced, but she didn't say by how much. In an attempt to move things along, she scraped my membranes. I'll let you look that up, if you don't know what it means. For many women, this sparks everything and sets it in motion. As long as your body is ready to go. So cramping followed, as it was supposed to, and shortly through the day, I lost my plug. This can mean nothing and can mean everything. Some women lose their plug weeks before they go into labor, and some, just as they begin. We shall see which camp I fall into.

And that is where I currently stand. I get up every day and move around. I make Glenn laugh by doing fake little aerobics. He loves to see my giant belly move around. And of course, I am suddenly eager to go retrieve things I left upstairs. And yet, he still seems to comfortable. What is it going to take??

Okay, Jamie, you are clear for labor...

For weeks now, I have been anticipating the excitement of taking part in a wedding. Two years ago, many of you may remember Monica as the pregnant one at my wedding, who sang with her sister. When she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids in November, it was a mere twist of irony that I would be hugely pregnant at her wedding as well. Her mom made all the dresses, so I had one that fit me perfectly and was beautiful, and as the big day came sooner, I would rub my belly and remind Jamie that he just had to wait until the wedding was over, and then he could come as soon as he wanted. And so, yesterday, it happened. No labor. Just a beautiful wedding. After the event, everyone approached me to ask when my due date was and asked how I was feeling. Rumors flew that I was due that day, although what I really said was that I was ready that day.

For a few moments during the ceremony, I felt some pressure and movement. I sucked in my breath, looked down at my belly, and willed Jamie not to do anything. I can definitely say, for one, that he follows orders. :) And as the ceremony ended and the reception began, the real fun started.

As soon as it was clear that the dancing had begun, I was on my feet, ready to celebrate with no abandon. I got Glenn up, and we did a little swing dancing. Then I bounced around to some rock music, and of course, the YMCA. (As I pointed out to one of the other bridesmaids, actual jumping is REALLY uncomfortable, so bouncing would have to work.) According to Kelley, one of the other women in our dance group, the cherry on top of the sundae was when I got out to do the Macerena. If you would stop and think back a decade or so to the last time you did the Macerena, you will remember there is a part where you circle your hips and then do a quarter turn. Now imagine a woman with an enormous belly, circling her hips. It is not the cutest looking image. :) But there I was, having a good time, and really, beyond all else, a good time was the true goal. And I was happy to celebrate with Monica.

After the reception at the church, there was an "after-party" at Chris' parents' house. (Chris being the groom) All guests were invited, and there would be more food and drinks to enjoy. Like the typical Asian mother, Chris' mom cooked more than enough and was more than happy to do it. Barbeque, shrimp, potato salad, nacho dip, broccoli, and even a chocolate fountain. And all this after having hosted the rehearsal dinner at her house the night before. As she told me when I asked her if she had made all the delicious Asian food at the rehearsal dinner herself, she told me, "As soon as my mother got into town, she started cooking, so she helped me a lot."

Their house was crowded and there were various conversations and groups of people around. From the crowd of bridal party watching pictures from the wedding on the giant TV in the living room, to the accordian polka music being played live in the front sitting room. When the time came for a large contingent of the Alt Washingtonia dance group/ family to leave, an impromptu performance was announced in the cul-de-sac outside. Doing a dance called the Gamsprung has become somewhat of a tradition at group parties and gatherings. And so we got together about 8 or 9 of our men and Mark the tuba player, and the men did their thing. The problem was, the majority of the guests inside only found out about the performance after it was almost done. Most of the guys who had been dancing had to leave and we were left with a large crowd calling out for more. So Fritz, Glenn, and Philip got together and decided they would do a dancer called the Gauplattler, which necessitated that each of them get a partner to spin around with them.

Fritz grabbed Monica's hand and told the other two to get a partner. I saw my chance to once again, get Jamie moving, and grabbed Glenn's hand. He looked at me and said, "Are you sure?" And I was. After all, all I would have to do was spin around and then waltz with him. Someone told me later, "You really will do anything you can to get him out." Another person said, "I am predicting here and now that your baby is going to be a dancer."

The next question, I am sure, would be "Did you feel anything after all that moving and shaking?" and the answer is "Yeah, a bit." The day before, he had been bouncing and shifting, and having a good old time. By the end of the evening, I was cramping up a lot. It felt like mild menstrual cramps, but I had a feeling that as soon as I got to bed, Jamie would simply be relieved I had stopped moving around and would settle back in to his comfort zone.

And, naturally, I was right. I woke up today with Jamie basically sending me the signal of, "Okay, Mom, you had your fun, but you won't work me out that easily." If you remember back a number of months to my ultrasound, when they couldn't get him to move enough to take all the pictures, I told you that this baby was stubborn. Well, once again, he has proven this point.

Dinner Done Right....

One of the chores on the "Before Jamie Comes" list has been, for a while, get some meals ready and frozen so we don't have to cook later. Although we froze a large amount of pasta the other day that Glenn made, today we went to a place that would help us to prepare roughly 16 meals (8 for each of the two of us).

In Centreville, there is a business that is called "Dinner Done." At Dinner Done, you go online and reserve a spot and choose 8 meals that you would love to have to freeze. You go on the day that you reserve and they have all the ingredients set up for you and you just put it all together and put it in little metal pans to put into the oven later. You take these home, freeze them, and when you are ready to eat them, all you have to do is thaw them and cook them.

Not only was this an amazing idea, it was so much fun too! Imagine being Rachel Ray for a moment, where you have a team of people who come in before you and chop everything for you, get the meat separated out, melt butter, and even put the right measuring spoons in each bowl. That is what this place does. So you go to a little station, and follow the prepwork part of the recipe. Usually this involves nothing more than add this and that, and stir.

One would think with such a simple set-up, the meals couldn't be that fantastic. Au contraire! The meals that Glenn and I chose were Mozzarella-Basil Stuffed Meatballs, Asian Pork Tenderloin, Flounder with a Lemon-Caper Sauce, BBQ Chicken with Cornbread Bites, Tatsiki Chicken Skewers, Nori Wrapped Salmon (which involves wrapping the salmon in a seaweed like wrap to cook it in), Greek Chicken Pasta, and Tuscan Beef, in which we stuffed some beef loins with sundried tomatoes and feta cheese, and laid it on a bed of spinach.

This place is a godsend for anyone who is either too lazy to cook themselves, too uncreative to look for recipes, or most of all, people who, for whatever reason are unable to cook. They even have something called a Stork Session. With this, if you have had a baby in the last month, you can order the meals online and the company will not only put them together for you, but (if you live within 10 miles) they will deliver it to you. Unfortunately, we live 12 miles away. Luckily, a friend of ours (Mellinger) lives only 10.5 miles from them, so we are thinking about getting them to deliver there, and Glenn will drive the 5 minutes over to Mellinger's apartment and pick the stuff up. Of course, Mellinger doesn't know this yet.

At this point, we are thinking we may be INCREDIBLY tired about a month after Jamie is born, and in an effort to avoid grocery shopping, we may take advantage of the Stork Session. In the grand scheme of things, it is pretty much the same amount of money as going to the store.

But the taste, you wonder? How good can a meal that has been frozen be? Well, that I don't know yet, but I can tell you that we tried out half of the meatballs with the marinara sauce we made, and they were delicious. The plan from now is to try to remember what we put into the meatballs. I remember the ingredients, but now I have to think back to the amounts. Thank goodness for my photographic memory!

If you are curious, check out their website... www.dinnerdone.com.

Baby Pool....

My dad tells me that there is some sort of baby pool going on in my family, but I am not sure that there is. In any case, I am curious to have a baby pool. If anyone would care to make a prediction, please go for it.

Personally, I am going to say June 30, but maybe that is wishful thinking. I am in a wedding on Saturday, June 28, and afterwards, Glenn and I are going to do some dancing and eat some Indian food. We have decided to do whatever we can to encourage him to make his grand entrance! SOO, I am saying, maybe June 30, we can coax him to come out.

Anyone else have a guess???